In the fast paced world of the 21st century, for most people Christmas doesn’t start until very late in December (despite what the shops tell us). People are working on Christmas Eve, and are back in work on Boxing Day with barely a moment to scoff a mince pie. As such time is a precious commodity, and time spent not watching Christmas movies is time that could be spent…watching Christmas movies.
Divided up into 8 categories, we have taken the hassle out of choosing your Christmas movie.
Category 1 – As Christmas as Mince Pies
It’s that warm hug that envelops you, tells you everything is going to be all right. It’s hot chocolate with lots of marshmallows, it’s carol singers in tune and a secret santa gift that is actually something you want!
Movies: It’s A Wonderful Life (1946), The Muppet Christmas Carol (1992), Home Alone (1990), Elf (2003), Gremlins (1984), The Snowman (1982), Scrooged (1988), How The Grinch Stole Christmas (1966 & 2000)
Category 2 – Terrible But Because it’s Christmas Everyone Forgives Them
At any other time of year, you would run out of the cinema screaming blue murder. Or take the DVD out of your player, then sterilise your DVD player and snap the Disc in to pieces. Then take the pieces out into the garden, throw them on the fire, burn them to ash, then take the ashes, get a plane to Jordan and scatter the ashes in the Dead Sea.
But because it is Christmas….what the hell let’s enjoy Love Actually with Keira Knightley…
Category 3 – Christmas movies that you can watch in July
Oh the weather outside is sunny, and the air conditioning running, but since we’ve no place to go…These are the movies that while having Christmas as an intrinsic parts of their make up, you can enjoy them in the heat of the summer.
Category 4 – Because Things Explode At Christmas Too
Stockings, Tinsel, Semi-Automatic weapons….the three ingredients that Shane Black starts with when writing a film. Nothing says Christmas like Bruce Willis jumping of the exploding top levels of Nakatomi Plaza except maybe Mel Gibson strangling a man with his legs.
Category 5 – Christmas Abroad
There just doesn’t seem to be the appetite for nice, heartwarming Christmas fare from our friends overseas. When they do tackle Christmas it tends to have a dark side like Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale about the hunting and capture of wild Santas.
Category 6 – Christmas 2 : Hells Belles
Sometimes they come back for more! Christmas sequels are a rarified bunch, good ones even more so.
Category 7 – Surprise Presents
Every year you get a little more jaded about Christmas, it no longer holds the childlike wonder that it used to. There is only so many times you can watch It’s A Wonderful Life without wishing James Stewart just died and everyone lost their homes. But then something comes along that surprises you, that Satsuma at the bottom of the stocking and it renews your Christmas spirit. A little known gem that allows you to enjoy Christmas once again.
Category 8 – That Uncle Who Drinks And Ruins It For Everyone
And then we get to Uncle Scrooge. He rocks up, just when you are getting into the Christmas spirit, pours sugar in your petrol tank, spikes the Christmas punch and reveals he’s been sleeping with your girlfriend for the past year. He’s a bad man.
Adam J Marsh